Monday, September 15, 2008

An Emotional and Reckless Side of Me

I'm hyper upset with myself.. It's hard to be myself for some times.. I tried my very best to cheer people around me and always ended in pain.. My humour doesn't work and my laughter doesnt help..

I tried to be a positive thinker at all time, but sometimes I just cant stop myself for blaming myself for my mistakes that revolves around me.. Why do they have to suffer because of me?! They deserve someone better with them..

I some times do wish I'll be erased in people's memories.. I mean a total VANISH!! But again, it's not what I can do, it's all god's will..

Now tell me what else can I do to make you happy? I'm becoming more and more stranger to myself already.. I started to lose my concious of being myself.. I'm just another selfish guy who with high ego.. I might try to be more helpful at times, but I may be doing it in a wrong way.. Making you feel bad about me..

For whatever reason it is.. I dont know how long will my laughter last.. and I dont know what will happen tomorrow.. I'm just trying to live my life to the fullest.. You may be the one to balance me up.. I'm afraid of losing you and yet, I am in pain when I see you suffer..

Harry is just another ridiculous guy after all.. Harry.. You have to cheer up more.. Always think of the brighter side.. It'll motivate you to, at least, make you feel better..

4 comments:

Steward Baba said...

Hi there. Sometimes I feel the same too. But, don't let the negative thought to make your life gloomy, There are more things to be cheered. Look at the bright side of everything.

Be positive and cheer up, ya. ^^

Ai-Ling said...

there's always ups and downs in life. just stay focus, u'll find the meaning of true life:)

galisin88 said...

Hi Harry,
I know how you feel........feeling all down and upset.sometimes you may lose some happy sparks that made people around you happy.

I was just like you but.....with God's grace and self-motivation, i'm still happy and try to live my life to the fullest......concentrating on what's ahead and not what's behind....

sometimes you need an internal and spiritual healing.....it works for me.....

months ago,my association for Catholic students with association from the church, organized a 3D2N CSA annual formation camp at IJ Convent, Cheras.

It was a emotional day for me as i constantly cried and cried, tears flowing down uncontrollably on the 2nd day from morning session till afternoon session.

The night session was worse....it was a session of internal and spiritual healing......most of the group, including myself are somehow
touched by the holy spirit of God that we cried and screamed, letting all that burden.

during counseling, we poured out whatever we want to confess and crying along the way as i felt that peace and love was blowing inside me.That nite, i had such a beautiful and peaceful sleep....

waking up the next day, i just felt energetic, happy and wonderful like i'm a brand new person....brimming with life....

to cut the story short, whatever you are feeling........don't hesitate to talk to someone right now!if you let that negativity rule your life, you, my friend, are going no where at all......let it all out....

there are friends who can console you when you are feeling down and cheer you up when you need one....

I'm here and so is your 1001 friends who are willing to listen to you and help you when you need one.I'm available at all times.If you need one, just chat with me on YM, ok:) (but of course, do beep me on my hp @ 0168814383 if you feel like talking)

God bless your day

Your Friend,
Tim G.
now studying in Cheras...

kid said...

Cheer up bro! Long time didn't see your blog, once see, got this kind of post alredy.

I'm not sure what kind of situation you are facing right now, but if it involve another person, try talking to that person as a gentleman. Don't keep things to yourself as it will not help yourself. For whatever reason, you can do it! I have faith in you and that you will go through this situation and will be happy again!

Keep up the spirit, have faith in yourself and don't loose those laughter! =))

Take care bro! *sayang sayang you and give a bear hug*