Thursday, April 5, 2007

Sorry.. My Friends.

I had tried to be perfect in every field (which includes family and love). I came to realise that nobody in this earth will be able to make things perfect. I tried to fulfill my parents' dream. I am sorry my dear friends. I really dont know what to do already. I hurt 2 females who I love the most, one is my mom and another is my dear.

I tried my best to grant what they want but I really cant do this at once and alone. My mom kept on saying I never stop SMS all the time and online (looking at the PC) for the whole day. She also said I did not help her in baby sitting and bother about the family stuffs. Perhaps it's true that I had neglected my family because of my own stuffs. Therefore, from now onwards, I'll be full time baby sitter as that is what my sister and my mom want to. I off my phone and kept in the drawer to stop myself from SMS. I did not connect to MSN nor IRC to chat online with my friends. I hope I can make my mom happy at least I stopped myself from SMS or chatting from now onwards. Well, I went out a lot of times for past few weeks to settle my scholarships thingy but to my mom, she thought that I went out to play and have fun with friends. Perhaps I didn't explain properly to her what I've done from time to time.

And to the girl I love, I was really really sorry for her.. I did not turn up to meet her after promising her to meet her soon after I finish my project. I made her felt that she's nothing deep inside me but a part time player on the stage. It's not true! I really love her a lot. I know love cannot be measured but if love can be measured, how good is that? At least I can prove to her that how deep is my love to her. I cant be a full time boyfriend as well as I have many "unfinished" business to be done at all time.

I tried to impress them with all my effords. Looks like I had came into a conclusion. Just to be a full time baby sitter and part time student. That's all I can do (I think).

NOTE: To the girl I deeply love you (you know who you are). I really hope you can understand why I do this. It's not just because of you but there are too much things going on around me lately. I dont want you to get blame by my family for not doing this and that. At least I tried my best to settle all the stuff and face it myself. What I can only do is to see you happy and back to your normal life again. My existing caused you a lot of sadness and tears. This is not what I want. I really want you to be happy again. I only hope to get your forgiveness. That's all I hope from you.

To my friends, sorry, I won't reply your SMS or your call to my handphone as I really kept my phone into the drawer and off it. I wont be joining you guys for hang out anymore. You guys are really a good friend to me. I dont want you guys to be involved in the "quarrel" session in my family. I dont want you guys to get the blame for my own doing.

Last but not least to my brothers, hope you guys take care of yourself. I know I didnt do much to guys but at least I still remember the time we are together. You guys will always be my brothers.

I'll be only updating my blog from now onwards as I wont be able to chat with you guys and at least you guys can see what's going on in my life. That's the whole point. Blog of Life.. It's about life of mine and life of others.

Thank you everyone and sorry..

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