Sunday, May 13, 2007

Sooo Lost!!

I am feeling so lost.. Smile in my face, yet feeling deeply lost in my heart.. I felt my heart is so vacant these few days..

I was wondering, what type of feeling will you guys have when you tried to contact a person, the person is actually not replying your SMS, answering your call, approving your testimonial in Friendster, replying your message in MSN? And in fact, the person is someone who you treat him/her as part of your life already?

It happened so in a sudden.. Without getting any explanation of what and why it happened. I felt deeply lost.. Not knowing what the beloved people wanted from me.. I got no words from her.. NONE.. I was thinking.. What did I do? What did I do wrongly until she quarantined me and ignore me totally?

Perhaps it's all my fault.. Some words are unable to speak by mouth.. Some feelings are unable to express by action.. I know that it's important to let someone who you really love knew that you really love him/her or to try to express your feeling toward him/her..

But is it true that you didn't express it out meant that you didn't care about him/her or didn't bother him/her at all?

I didn't know the exact answer.. What I really know is the pain of being ignored without knowing the reason what and why it happened, missing him/her every day and night, worrying about his/her condition every minutes...

It's totally out of control.. I felt I am so damn cold-blooded.. I am so cruel.. I am such an idiot.. I am so bad.. I am a fool.. I am.. whatever it is.. I am what I am.. Ya.. those I mentioned, I began to think it's my personality.. That's why people never mentioned about those personality of mine to me directly..

I am just LOST!!!

1 comment:

Gledwood said...

Hi! I found you at random just pressing "next" and up you came!

I don't know who you're talking about... was this person expecting you to get in touch? Do they know how you feel about them? If not maybe you should tell them ... I know how you feel ...

I keep blogs too. My main one is gledwood2.blogspot - my online diary. The other 2 are video blogs with comedy and music. You're welcome to drop by any time. I'm online on Gabbly later this evening if you want to say hi ... See you there maybe!


Gledwood Vol 2